The Godfather

I decided a long time ago that I didn't want to have kids of my own. I wanted to be around them, I hoped my sister would have them, so that I was not under any pressure from my parents to have children. Then In December 2005, I thought I was going to have one, and surprisingly I actually wanted it, I had changed my mind. I had been really scared and excited and I remember feeling like it was going to be such a wonderful addition to my life at that point. I had all the necessary financials a somewhat committed partner. Until one morning my body rejected it or maybe the baby rejected me.
Later on I found out the prospects of me physically carrying a baby to term were almost impossible. That change rippled through every single aspect of my life at the time and created so many waves I thought for sure I would never fully recover from that experience. Until my experiences sent me down a path I had no idea was there.
This was early 2006, when I became really close to a friend of mine Jaime.; I think we might actually be sisters, we definitely get accused of that or lesbian motherhood (long story). I was there when she first found out she was having a baby and I remember feeling the same as when I was pregnant fucking scared. She had refused to tell us for awhile, her closest friends and I was so happy/scared for her even though, I joked that she broke up our band (the pink socks). From that moment on we did a lot of things together Starbucks, sushi parties sans the raw fish, BBQ and just shopping. Spring came in 2007, and she was rushed to Reno for having some problems with the pregnancy. I remember being so worried and just scared but, I hate hospitals and I really suck at dealing with any of the things associated with hospitals and why people are there. So, I brought her shampoo to wash her hair with Tara and I went to the hospital, she was OK in a little over three weeks. About a month or so later she had a beautiful little girl named Aubrey, I donned an evening gown for this special birthday party.
That little girl is the best. She loves me more than anyone I have ever met. I became the godfather because she already had a godmother (were not together). Aubrey is an amazing little girl who just brings me so much joy. I don't know what it is but, she will just sit on my lap and chill for hours she and I have this bond that has always been there since she was born. Its really awesome she loves her Auntie Fawne and it makes me so happy I want to cry sometimes. There is nothing more profound in the human condition than knowing that a child loves you by choice and for no other reason than they know you will always keep them safe. Its amazing this baby hasn't had any tainted experiences with people there is no predisposition on love for her she just loves who she loves some more than others and of course she knows here family. Her birthday was so hard for me because I knew that I was leaving and I wouldn't be there to see her everyday. Thus, I was named the Godfather. I included some pictures of my Aubrey, because I think of her often and miss seeing her everyday. Here she is from my last visit.