Monday, September 29, 2008

Stumbling on Happiness

After coming back to San Francisco from visiting my friends in Tahoe. I realized how much I love my life in San Francisco. For a long time now I have struggled to accept who I am, who I want to be, and where I was headed. I think I have got a good grip on that now. I can safely say I am really happy I love my single life my non commitment. Sleeping in, going out to new restaurants, live music on a work night, fun dance clubs, spotting hot guys. I realized that not only does the grass appear greener at times but, its also is longer so a lot of what you think you are missing is hidden behind all this tall grass, it looks so pretty and perfect but with a closer look maybe its not so much better after all.

I did get some of the best sleep over the weekend. My friend Brian who has become for lack of a better description my "Big" for the last few years he is the only person in my life that I can sleep the whole night next to. I have the best sleep of my life lying next to him. I don't wake up in the middle of the night at all and in the morning its just completely comfortable. There is a certain amount of just calm security with him that I have never had with anyone else. I don't want him to be anything more than the guy I can sleep through the night next too. I don't think he is ready for anything like me in his life, but the sleep is the most amazing part. It really is the best sleep I have had. I left feeling like I stumbled upon happiness.

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